when this damn Grand Prix business is over with. 

My co-workers will be happy, the Brain will be happy, and complete strangers will be happy. 

I have been nothing BUT vocal about my intense hatred/dislike/anger at the Grand Prix, the people who brought it here (Jay Davidson, the Mayor, etc), the people who support it (like our fearless and retarded neighborhood association who don’t really remember much at their meetings because they spend it getting drunk on cheap alcohol), and anyone associated with it and it’s ability to shut down a city, disrupt the lives of the people who live and work in the city, and the headaches and stress it’s caused me (and you for having to listen to me).

No matter how many promises the city makes, the Grand Prix head people make, the neighborhood association makes, the parking authority makes—they will ALL be broken. 

• The city says that this will generate a much needed boon of $70,000,000 (thats MILLION, folks!) to the struggling city economy.  It won’t.  The only thing it will do is allow Stephanie Rawlings-Blake (the whitest name for a black woman ever) to be re-elected as Mayor. Shout out to Otis Rolley.  I have never publicly endorsed any political candidate–but I’m endorsing you!
• The neighborhood association, well, I don’t know what they expect to get from this besides headaches, more strangers and trash in the neighborhood, and angry residents who want nothing to DO with this inane proposition–but that’s neither here nor there.  Supossedly some of the money that was donated by the Grand Prix will be used to clean up before/after the race.  Wait, seriously? Why the heck aren’t the Grand Prix people paying someone to come in and clean the neighborhood.  And why do we want to clean the ‘hood up before hand–only to have it trashed, puked, pissed, and pooped in by people who don’t live here.  I say, make it look bad so they stay the F away from Ridgely’s.
• And the good old Baltimore Parking Authority.  They send out notices saying that parking restrictions will be in effect from 12midnight Friday until Monday.  Again, I call BullSh!t.  The BPA is absolutely incapable of reading and interpreting signs for the current parking restrictions (can anyone say Stadium Event?).  How do they plan on restricting access to the neighborhood? The BPA is a sad excuse for a city agency. If they ticketed/towed every illegal parker in the ‘hood during a stadium event–they could very easily boost their operating budget and pay their own salaries in tickets alone. Maybe if the BPA were given an incentive system  (ie: every valid ticket written for residential parking violaters would give them a return of like 10% of the cost of the ticket), it would motivate them to get off their fat asses, waddle themselves down the streets of the ‘hood–and do the jobs that they are being paid to do.

Okay, okay–enough. I know, I know.  But I have to say it. If I don’t say it, and I walk around with all this inside my head–I might explode. 

 

Okay, so Friday was nucking futz in the Baltimore area as people freaked the F out and went ape-sh!t buying things that they think they will need, but in reality, probably wont.

According to the Balt Sun this morning (yes, in the face of an impending disaster our paper was still delivered), people went CRAZY for batteries and flashlights. Huh? You don’t already keep those handy? Does your power never go out? Along with the batteries and flashlights, apparently there was also the traditional run on bread, milk, and bottled water.

What kind of preparations did the Brain and I make for this storm? Nothing. Not. A. Thing.

We already buy bottled water (its all we drink–city water is gross), so we already had 4 cases of Deer Park on hand.  We have two boxes of Poptarts from the last grocery store run.  We have some deli turkey, some sandwich rolls, some soda, and granola bars.  What more do you need? We could survive a zombie apocolypse on what we have on hand. Go us!

We also have a bathtub full of water (for toilet flushing if necessary).  We bought a 10 pack of LED flashlights (preloaded with batteries) at Lowes back at Christmas, so we’re good on that front. I also have a selection of yummy smelling bath and body works candles to light our way, if need be.

Why panic? We didn’t board any windows or sandbag anything. It is what it is.

So keep Poptarts on hand, and you’ll be fine.

disclaimer: Poptarts did not pay me to pimp out their awesome product. However, I could use an endorsement deal, so if you’d like to sponsor me, feel free to contact me directly. Payment is cheap–one gross (144) 12-count boxes of chocolate fudge per year should do it.

Okay, I was going to go with the old “Rock you like a hurricane” reference from that song in the 70′s–but figured every other blogger on the east coast is probably doing that–and I don’t like to be like everyone else. I’m unique…and different..and damn it, I’m special!

So I pulled my title from ye olde seafaring scurvy infested sailors. 

Anyways, it’s Friday.  The Yankees are in town for a five (FIVE!) game homestand against the Orioles.  A hurricane is on the immediate horizon. And the Brain and I just figured out after a Google search last night for “inner harbor baltimore flood” that yes, in fact the Inner Harbor can, and quite possibly, will flood this weekend–as evinced from footage from Hurricane Isabel in 2003.

See, you have to understand, that although the Brain and I are no strangers to hurricanes, having been East Coast born and bred–we have never actually lived THIS close to water during said weather event. So, we aren’t really sure how the whole water/harbor thing will work. 

Finger crossed that we come through unscathed. 

Hope your weekend is going to be alot better than our is turning out to be!

 

And our natural disaster superfecta will be complete.  Suck it, California.

For those of you who don’t know (as I didn’t because the Brain just explained it to me) a superfecta means “four”.  So, just to recap, we’ve had crazy flash flooding, an earthquake, we are in the path of Hurrican Irene…so a tornado would just complete our happy little family.

No, I’m not getting all cute and quoting a song by Eminem.

I’m calling you out, Jay Davidson. You probably don’t remember me–in fact, I can guarantee that you don’t–but I have met you in person, once.  You were at a Ridgelys Delight meeting, where you came in with your cronies to convince us that this wonderful Grand Prix was a coup to the city-and our neighborhood.

And as time goes on, and more and more information becomes available–just 10 days before the city–and our neighborhood-becomes a hostage to your whim, we are all beginning to see the proverbial wool that you have pulled over the eyes of Mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake,  and nearly every member of our neighborhood association.

As Fox45 reported tonight, the economic boost that is predicted to be generated from this race is not all it’s cracked up to be. Seventy million dollars? Really? Where did those numbers come from? Based on the estimated attendance of the race of 150,000, you think that every single person (man/woman/child) will be chucking out approximately $500 per person. Really?

As it was said, the City of Baltimore didn’t do their research. Jay Davidson rolled into town, like the proverbial Lyle Lanley from the episode of the Simpsons about the monorail.  Lyle promised that the Monorail would revitalize Springfield, much like Jay has promised that this Grand Prix will revitalize Baltimore.  And we ALL know what happened to the cities that were taken in by Lyle Lanley–they found out that he was a shyster and a fake–and they were stuck with something that wasn’t right for their city–which in the end, caused an economic downturn.

If you don’t know what happened to Lyle, google it.

If you’ve read anything I’ve posted in the past, you may find that I have a predilection towards writing haikus. I like to think that I’m going to be a famous author some day–and haikus are fun, as long as all of my fingers are in working order so that I can count out the five-seven-five syllables.

Today, I texted this to the Brain.  I get bored very easily at work.

Daily, I drink tea

It makes me have to go pee

Damn you Chick Fil- A!

Just an aside, I actually LOVE Chick Fil-A, and if any Chick Fil-A wants to sponsor me or my blog, I’ll be happy to work out an endorsement deal with you. All negotiations will be handled by the Brain–who will take his payment in Spicy Chicken sandwiches (sans pickles, please) and cookies-n-cream shakes. Thanks!

 

We just had an earthquake. I’m sure if you’re anywhere on the East Coast or mid-west, you probably felt it, too.

I’m no stranger to earthquakes.  In fact, this little shaker today is probably the fifth one that I’ve been through in my life.  But I can honestly tell you that this was the STRONGEST one that I have ever felt. We actually evacuated the building.

The epicenter is in Mineral, VA (shoutout to the cows!), a little rural farming community that I’ve had the opportunity to visit on numerous occasions. They also host a huge bluegrass festival there–and sell really good corndogs at the gas station.  

The Brain and I both called our ‘rents–as we always do in crazy earth and/or weather related situations–and everyone is fine. Tried to text the bestie–but Verizon is wonky and I’m not able to get through to brag about our monster quake.

So J–Guess what! We had an earthquake! 

 

 

With the craziness that the Grand Prix is bringing–the most noticeable besides the Grand Stands (which look kind of unsafe since they are nothing more than scaffolding and painted boards) are the retaining walls and fencing that is going up all through the city.

Walking home from the bus stop the other day, I snapped a picture of Pratt Street, as seen from the pedestrian side of things.This time next week it will be even worse.

Too bad the Grand Prix can’t be more like Mario Kart. That’s fun, whereas, the actual Grand Prix just sucks.

 

Along with Chewpons, I also religiously check Groupon and Living Social for awesome deals.We have discovered so many new restaurants and events, and gotten deals at places we go to anyways, that it’s totally worth taking the time every day to review the latest posted deals. And we just don’t get deals for Baltimore–we check most of the cities that we visit on the regs: Philly, Wilmington/Newark, Harrisburg, DC, Richmond…and even cities that we are planning on visiting in the near future.

Today, the Brain and I headed to Jersey to catch a Camden Riversharks game (2 level 100 tickets for $12 via LS). Front-row, bullpen seats.  Score! Oh, and there was a bench clearing (almost) brawl. We were kind of disappointed that the fight was averted–but it was fun while we waited to see a what would happen.

On the way to the ball park, we took a slight detour to hit Planet Hoagie in Wilmington, Delaware, to redeem another LS deal of $10 for $20 worth of food. BTW–awesome place, delicious food. The sandwiches are HUGE.  A medium is about 12 inches–and a full is 24.  And they are loaded with meat. They have met the Pinky and the Brain (TM) standards of quality–and we will be back.

I’ll leave you with a beautiful view of the Ben Franklin Bridge at night. We love the Philly/Camden skyline at night. It’s so beautiful.

So, you were on the website that says that this blog was nominated for that MVB thing, right? And you wanted to check out the competition? And you just realized, OMG this blog is freaking awesome and the rest of the blogs in the “everything else” category are totally lame and should be embarrassed to even be competing against all this, right?

Yeah, that’s exactly what I thought, too.  All the other blogs are lame, I am awesome, and you should give me a vote.  If I win that $50 amazon gift card prize, I will share it with all of my loyal readers (I know who all four of you are, and one of you actually lives with me..so yeah, there’s that).  At least I can find comfort in the fact that I did NOT nominate myself for this….thanks, honey! I love you!

Smooches.