1. Where did the firetruck that was going the wrong way down Penn Street finally end up at? I assume somewhere on Portland or Freemont–but just curious if there was a fire or something. Anyone know?

2.  There’s alot of houses available on Dover Street all of a sudden. Where did the people go? Alien abduction?

3.  The Wistro is going to have a Euchre tournament (according to the Ridgely’s Rag).  Wait, what? Did we suddenly get picked up and dropped down in the middle of the U.P.? People in Maryland don’t play Euchre.

4.  I heard that the new possible Grand Prix @ssholes want to turn it into a 10-day event? WTF. Seriously? Do they not realize what an inconvenience this was for 5 days–but to turn it into a 10 day thing? You can’t disrupt peoples lives and livlihoods like that.  Let it go, SRB. We don’t NEED or WANT another failure of a Grand Prix race.  It was a FAILURE the first time around–why keep beating a dead horse?

5.  That’s all I’ve got. It’s been a slow week in the Pinky and Brain household.

This is the breakdown of items stolen from vehicles–they actually print it like this.  Apparently, someone was hungry.

Larceny from Auto
Stereo: 4; Tire: 1; Wallet: 2; TV: 1; Phone: 3; GPS: 11; Sunglasses: 3; Cash: $35; Golf clubs: 7; Purse: 1; Tag: 2; Computer: 3; Chicken tender: 1; Wallet: 2; mp3: 2; Briefcase: 1

Is it possible the Inner Harbor fox has made its way west to Ridgely’s? Alert the authorities!

And who’s the idiot who left their police car UNLOCKED? Or better yet–who’s the idiot who stole FROM a police car?

1300 block Patapsco St., Tuesday, Jan. 17, 9:30 p.m.: A police tactical vest, ballistic vest, police radio, flashlight, two magazines loaded with .40 caliber ammunition, a knife, handcuffs and handcuff key were stolen from a parked car.

Man, I LOVE this stuff!

Lately, there has been an influx of non residents flooding the neighborhood.  And I’m not talking about the daily parking violators who work at the hospital/meth clinic/etc. 

I’m talking about the people in cars who drive recklessly fast down our narrow streets, narrowly missing our parked cars in order to take a ‘short cut’, or to miss a light.  I’m talking about the people who take our precious parking–and are incapable of either a. fitting into a spot, thereby taking two, or b. are incapable of parallel parking–thereby leaving their car approximately 2ft from the curb–narrowing the streets even more–all because they are headed to a concert at Cuppa Joe or to the Wistro, or Camden Pub.

This behavior is exhibited most on the narrowest of streets–Dover, Penn, and Fremont.   These streets are barely passable most days, but when someone isn’t parked well–it can be a recipe for disaster. And the Brain and I have seen our share of peoples cars who have been clipped by drive bys, had their sideview mirrors torn off, and who have experienced damage caused by someone else.

The same people who aren’t familiar with our streets speed through them without care re: the lives and safety of the residents who live and walk on these streets.  Especially since the majority of people in the ‘hood have the inability to use sidewalks–and tend to walk down the middle of the street. 

How long until someone is hit and seriously hurt and/or killed due to the recklessness of these individuals?

Technically, (and yes, this is a verifiable item) Ridgely’s Delight falls under the stadium area enforcement zone–which means that, like Otterbien, we should be marked as a zero hour parking neighborhood.  However, as it was told to me, the wrong signs were installed, and it’s ‘too expensive’ to replace them with the correct ones. Besides, it would be met with nothing but opposition by the so called ‘elected’ board members who are supossed to represent all residents–but really don’t give a crap about anyone but their own personal agendas.

I am in total agreement with you re: the abuse of Ridgelys parking permits by non-residents.  I see the same abusers daily parking using either a decal and/or visitor permit–they show up at 7-8am–walk to their job at UMMC or at the meth clinic at Penn/Pratt–and then leave at 5pm.  Coincidence? I think not–especially when they are wearing scrubs and carrying lunch bags. Which means that residents of our own neighborhood are ABUSING the parking priveliges themselves–by obtaining parking permits for their friends/coworkers illegally.  Has anyone else noticed an influx of REALLY nice cars into the ’hood lately–especially during work hours?  

The entire residential parking program needs to be overhauled.  You’re right–visitor permits are stupid and should be abolished.  That is the most  flagrant abuse of the system.  There is MORE than enough public parking available on meters and garages for anyone who is hosting guests to find parking. And employees should be using the UMMC and UMB provided parking garages. 

 The two hour parking rules are not enforced with enough regularity to make a difference–what’s one occasional ticket every couple of months?   That’s alot of cheap parking! And besides, you should see the meth clinic employees scatter like rats when a parking enforcement car is in the neighborhood.

Calling 311 to report abuse is not working.  Contacting someone at the parking authority directly (Gail Desche) didn’t work, either.  They don’t care–but the city also complains about the deficit in the budget–but there is a ton of money that could be generated by merely enforcing residential parking.

I would like to see Baltimore adopt the Philly model of parking enforcement.  Every morning, a parking enforcement agent is dropped off in a zone–and for eight hours–they do nothing else but ENFORCE the parking in that assigned zone.  They are on foot–not like the fat and lazy chevy cobalt drivers out there now who merely circle a ‘hood but never actually get out of the car.  They would be trained on how to interpret the signs so that the maximum revenue is generated per ticket (ie: stadium event, tow away zone, etc).

It’s the bureaucratic crap like this (by both the neighborhood AND the city of Baltimore) that are driving residents out into the suburbs–where parking is plentiful and where meth treatment clinics are required to be 750 feet away from residential areas.

Guess what Ridgely’s—as more of us leave–the problems will continue to get worse. And you have noone to blame but yourselves.

I hadn’t planned on making any resolutions this year…because, lets face it–they usually fall to the wayside within two weeks–and are a waste of time anyways.

But when I logged in today to write about my lack of desire to have a resolution, I had this anonymous comment waiting on me ,

“Here’s wishing you a brighter, happier New Year!  One in which you aren’t so negative about a neighborhood you choose to live in.  I truly hope you can learn to see more light and less darkness.”

Although I appreciate the happy new year wishes, I’m bristling at the implication that I am dark. I’m not dark–I’m just bitchy.

And believe me, both the Brain and I are looking forward to the day we move OUT of Ridgelys–because, frankly, we are tired of dealing with meth addicts, dog poop, rude employees, and a community board that only works for the entitled homeowners of the ‘hood and worries more about community cleanups than about fixing the real issues.

Here’s hoping in 2012 doesn’t suck as much as 2011–but two days in and I’m ready for it to be over already.

S. Conkling Street, 400 block, December 15, 7 p.m. Someone stole a trash can, described as big and black and plastic.

Eastern Avenue, 6300 block, December 8, 1:50 p.m. A man tried to leave a home improvement store with a hammer and tool pouch in his pants, but security guards were not fooled, and arrested him.

I LOVE the Baltimore Guide! They can’t make this stuff up!

In the spirit of the holiday season, it’s time for Pinky’s Haiku corner! Enjoy!

When I was growing up–or maybe even in high school–there was this little poem? Chant? Ditty? that people used to kind of hum or something. It’s kind of going through my head today because, as it turns out, I can be a complete moron sometimes. 

Case in point: I went to a store at lunch to pick up two small items to complete a project for a coworker. I had a coupon for 50% off a reg price item–that I left in the car. I find my two items, they both look to be on sale–and don’t go get the coupon because I wouldn’t be able to use it.

At the checkout, neither item rings up on sale–because they were not the ‘described’ item.  Okay, I’m a little miffed, but I’ll just go out to get the coupon, and then get my items.  At this point, I’ve already stood in line for about 8 mins to get to the register. So I run out to the car to get the coupon, come back in, and get in line again.  After being all patient, the cashier sees me, motions that I should go to the other cashier who isn’t really open but it taking customers who are sent to her–and then the woman in front of me cuts me off and jumps the line because she thought the cashier was talking to her. 

I finally get to check out again and open my purse–and there’s no wallet. So again, I head back to my car (where it fell out of my purse on the coupon run, thank God)–and retrieve it.  Then I go back inside where I, again, stand in line to buy my two lonely items.

This one simple stop, #1 of my list to get done at lunch–then becomes the ONLY item that I get off my list–because it took about 25 minutes. And this, my bitches, is why I’m going insane during the holiday season.

In the annual spirit of the holidays, I wrote a poem about Christmas in the ‘hood.

Sung to the tune of “Winter Wonderland”

Happy Holidays, Bitches.